Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
