It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
