I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I will die if light touches me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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