She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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