sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Randomize
