Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  batman just walked across the sidewalk

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  lay off the drugs

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no for real he was wearing a cape

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): batman just walked across the sidewalk (1-630): lay off the drugs (630): no for real he was wearing a cape http://tfl.nu/eo01
  Replies (15) Good night (4886) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk http://tfl.nu/jksc
  Replies (39) Good night (4093) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me. (706): Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest. http://tfl.nu/zfpy
  Replies (75) Good night (2230) Bad night (4020)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth http://tfl.nu/hcb6
  Replies (19) Good night (3814) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  basic color theory

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up (1-502): basic color theory http://tfl.nu/ff46
  Replies (14) Good night (1121) Bad night (3446)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome http://tfl.nu/ugx7
  Replies (14) Good night (5546) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie. http://tfl.nu/a7k2
  Replies (13) Good night (772) Bad night (3534)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation http://tfl.nu/u5tc
  Replies (12) Good night (1089) Bad night (3142)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you. http://tfl.nu/3o9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2725) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk.. http://tfl.nu/th8z
  Replies (12) Good night (2671) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger. http://tfl.nu/whys
  Replies (7) Good night (1126) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal. (1-360): I'm puking in a turkey pan.... http://tfl.nu/y4jv
  Replies (6) Good night (1139) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right? http://tfl.nu/xedt
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me http://tfl.nu/ug28
  Replies (7) Good night (983) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse http://tfl.nu/h2il
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (298)

Randomize