once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
