Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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