Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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