i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My dick has a subreddit
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
