i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
