OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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