You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
