babies were throwing up all over the place
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
