this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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