I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
