I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
