bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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