i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
