real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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