Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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