im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
