he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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