is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
