I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
