yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
