How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
