HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
