I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
