When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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