i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
