Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
