And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
