Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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