There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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