Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
