Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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