My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
