Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
