Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
