he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
