Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
