She went from zero to smokin in five shots
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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