Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
