Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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