omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
