I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
