I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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