is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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