ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
