Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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