i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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