carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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