he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
