Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.