We won't sleep together?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
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Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands