kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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