I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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