Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
