When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
