Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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