So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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