Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
