Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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