You smell like stripper and shame
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
