I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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